Judy Weiner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Clinical Social Worker who specializes in the social-emotional needs of gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) individuals. She is affiliated with SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted), leads parent groups, and serves on the Oak Park Unified School District GATE Advisory Committee. 

Judy framed her presentation around the Columbus Group’s definition of giftedness: asynchronous development where advanced cognitive abilities and emotional intensity create inner experiences that are qualitatively different from the norm. This asynchrony often increases with intelligence and requires adjustments in parenting, teaching, and counseling to support optimal development. 

She encouraged parents to reflect on how their expectations align with their child’s unique profile, reminding them that success looks different for every gifted child. 

Factors Contributing to Underachievement: 

Judy discussed common contributors to underachievement in gifted youth, including: 

• Identity and peer issues 
• Multipotentiality (high ability in many areas) 
• Schoolwork that is too easy or too difficult 
• Poor study or organizational skills 
• Perfectionism and procrastination 
• Power struggles caused by over-involved parenting 

Instilling a growth mindset can help gifted students understand that intelligence is not static and can be developed. This can lead to a desire to learn and tendencies to embrace challenges, learn from criticism, and be inspired by others’ success.  

Understanding Motivation: 

Judy emphasized that behavior is a form of communication. She used the iceberg metaphor to show how surface-level behaviors may stem from deeper issues like anxiety, skill deficits, or unmet emotional needs. Open conversations can help uncover these hidden challenges. 

Supporting Passions and Interests: 

One way to build motivation is by supporting the areas and topics children care most about. Encouraging curiosity, facilitating access to experiences, and offering opportunities aligned with their passions can improve engagement and self-confidence. 

Creating the Right Learning Fit: 

Judy highlighted the importance of working with educators to ensure appropriate pacing and challenge. She defined differentiation as tailoring the curriculum to match a student’s learning level, style, and interests, and not simply giving more or harder work. Ideally, learning should fall within the child’s Zone of Proximal Development, where tasks are challenging enough to stimulate growth without being overwhelming. 

Judy’s Recommended Books: 

• Mistakes That Worked by Charlotte Foltz Jones 
• Ish by Peter H. Reynolds 
• Letting Go of Perfect by Jill Adelson and Hope Wilson 
• How to Motivate Your Child for School and Beyond by Andrew Martin 
• Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades by Sylvia Rimm 
• Moving Past Perfect by Thomas S. Greenspon 

Coming This Fall: 

We’re excited to keep the conversation going with two upcoming sessions you won’t want to miss:

• On Wednesday, September 10, join us for Secrets to Finding the Best-Fit High School, a practical and timely discussion for families navigating the next step in their child’s educational journey (in-person session).
• On Wednesday, October 8, we’ll take a deeper dive into perfectionism in Practical Interventions for the Practically Perfect. Gifted education expert Lisa Van Gemert will share strategies you can use right away to help gifted youth manage perfectionistic thinking and behaviors (virtual session).

The nation’s children are headed back into the classroom as the 2019-2020 school year gets underway! New beginnings can be a grab bag of emotions. Excitement, fear, anticipation – going back to school is not for the faint of heart. Here are some ideas to help ease the way into new beginnings.

Setting the Scene

An early visit to a new classroom can help relieve anxiety.  If your child’s school is hosting an Open House or back to school event, attending can create a sense of comfort and familiarity.  If this is not possible, discuss with your child what they can expect. Compare the new experience to something familiar: “Your classroom might be like the one we went to last year at your brother’s report card night.”

Building Confidence

Even if your child is excited about the beginning of school, they may also have concerns.  Speaking positively about the transition can go a long way to reducing fear.  Remind your child of a successful time they were in a new environment: “I remember how you made friends with Amy at the picnic when you did not know her.”

Establishing Routine

In the morning rush of everyone getting ready for school or work, small things may get overlooked. An established morning routine is helpful: backpack, lunch (don’t forget utensils), review of afternoon plans and most importantly, goodbyes. Goodbyes can serve as a punctuation to the morning routine and help transitions.

Transitions Take Time

New activities are stressful. At the beginning of the year, teachers work hard to establish a routine and provide students with guidelines and expectations.  The structure of predictable routines both at home and school reduce anxiety. Just a few minutes with your child at the end of the day to let them tell you how things went will go a long way in back-to-school adjustment. If your child reports “problems,” try to refrain from giving solutions, but let your child tell you what they think and what they would like to see happen before discussing actions. Sometimes, like adults, a child just wants to be heard.

Back to School shopping season is here! When you do your back to school shopping at smile.amazon.com/ch/95-4695698, Amazon donates to Institute For Educational Advancement. Thank you for your support!

NOTE: As of February 20, 2023, Amazon has permanently shut down the AmazonSmile customer donation program.

To celebrate the beginning of a new year, we wanted to take a look back at some noteworthy moments from 2017!

IEA has expanded and bought a house!

Through the generosity of our donors, IEA was able to purchase a beautiful craftsman home in Pasadena. The new space houses our programs, Academy classes, and monthly  Gifted Support Groups. This past December, we hosted a Tree Trimming and Open House where families had the opportunity to take a guided tour, observe Academy classes, meet our dynamic Academy instructors, make DIY holiday ornaments, check out student work and nosh on cookies and hot cocoa.

IEA released results from a first-of-its-kind poll about gifted learners.

We commissioned the first ever national survey assessing the American public’s views on gifted education which found overwhelming bipartisan public support for increased funding for programs and resources for gifted students. It also indicated that the public recognizes the gifted population is often underserved. As a follow up in September, IEA gathered gifted education leaders from across the country in Pasadena to discuss the next steps in advocating for a policy solution championing gifted learners. The gathering included a presentation of the poll results, roundtable discussions,  and a conversation on how organizations can work together to advocate for our nation’s gifted students. We are working on additional initiatives to inform and create change.

Students, parents, and supporters gathered for IEA’s Summer Spotlight.

In July, over 100 students, parents, and supporters of IEA gathered at The Barder House for IEA’s Summer Spotlight event where families enjoyed interactive demonstrations of our programs conducted by IEA students and Academy instructors, connected with other families with gifted children, and chowed down on a complimentary barbeque dinner and drinks!

Twenty-eight middle-schoolers from across the country were named 2017 Caroline D. Bradley Scholars.

From an applicant pool of 386 students, CDB’s largest-ever applicant pool, 55 Finalists were selected by three Scholarship Selection Committees comprised of a diverse group of school admissions directors, CDB alumni, university personnel and community and business leaders nationwide. Following extensive personal interviews, 28 of the Finalists were selected as recipients of the 2017 scholarship. Congratulations to our 2017 CDB Scholars!

Twenty talented high school students worked with distinguished Mentors through EXPLORE.

Students were thoughtfully matched with mentors who shared similar passions in their career field of interest and had professional trajectories externs hoped to pursue in the future. These externs conducted college level research and work in fields such as biomathematics, computer science, architecture, pediatric medical research, ethnomusicology and more. Also, as a new component of EXPLORE, students met every Friday to attend educational excursions and workshops geared towards building their college and career readiness.

Yunasa brought together 113 campers for a summer of fun outdoor activities, workshops led by our beloved Fellows, and community-building events.

This year, Yunasa accepted the most campers it has in its 15 years of operation. We welcomed back 77 returning campers and 36 new campers for Yunasa and Yunasa West. The goal of the one week camp is to balance all sides of giftedness – intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical. Hannah, a 4th year Yunasa camper, shares her experience about finding her tribe at Yunasa on our blog.

Teacher trainings brought Academy instructors together to share their experience, knowledge and creative ideas.

Academy conducted 3 pre-session teacher trainings to help prepare our instructors to work with our community of gifted learners. Trainings covered such topics as support for twice-exceptional students and guest speakers included Sharon Duncan from GRO Gifted and IEA’s very own, President Betsy Jones.

IEA honored three valued members of the IEA community, Dr. Tony Travouillon, Jason Roberts and Sandy Roberts, at the Awards Dinner and Celebration.

In November, we hosted 90 guests at the University Club in Pasadena for our annual fundraiser. The evening brought together program alumni, Mentors, parents, board members, and supporters of IEA  and we also honored three gifted education rock stars including Academy Instructor, Dr. Tony Travouillon, who received the Educator Award, and Sandy and Jason Roberts of Math Academy who received the Community Advocate Award. The event raised nearly $30,000 to support IEA’s programs for gifted youth! Thank you to all who attended and contributed to this event!

We’ve grown our online presence through our redesigned Gifted Resource Center.

The Gifted Resource Center (GRC) is a free public tool created and curated by IEA which serves as an online database of resources for the gifted community. To date, the database has over 450 gifted resources and over 15,000 page views.

IEA hosted nine free Gifted Support Group meetings.

During the school year, we offer complimentary monthly talks featuring experts on various aspects of gifted youth and education. These talks are intended for parents and educators of gifted children to provide support and community, a venue for shared discovery, and a space to exchange resources and ideas. Previous topics include Mindfulness and the Whole Child, Gifted Resource Swap, Gifted and Teenage, Homeschooling 101 and Finding the Right School Fit.

Four new staff members joined our small but mighty team.

Anvi Kevany, Administrative Assistant
Abby Daniels, Director of Development & Communications
Nicole Endacott, Program Assistant
Hillary Jade, Program Manager

And, most importantly, IEA programs supported more than 453 bright young minds!

Needless to say, IEA had a lot to celebrate in 2017 and we could not have done any of this without the help of our amazing community!

IEA continues to receive remarkable support from families who have benefited from our programs, as well as community partners who believe in our mission and work. Thank you to everyone who generously contributed this year, and to our amazing volunteers who assisted in our programming, marketing, and fundraising efforts. Thanks to you, we are able to deliver highly customized programs to more bright and eager learners across the country.

We look forward to an impactful 2018!

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]]> https://educationaladvancement.org/blog-iea-2017-highlights/feed/ 0 https://educationaladvancement.org/blog-alumni-interview-ieas-pipeline-program/ https://educationaladvancement.org/blog-alumni-interview-ieas-pipeline-program/#respond Tue, 03 Oct 2017 14:29:54 +0000 https://ieadev.wpengine.com/blog-alumni-interview-ieas-pipeline-program/ Pipeline to Success was a pilot program developed by IEA in partnership with the Pasadena Unified School District (PUSD) and Avery Dennison Foundation. Designed specifically to serve highly able, underserved youth in PUSD, the program ran from 1999 to 2010. The program provided gifted middle and high school students in PUSD with enrichment classes, Personal Education Plans, and other services, and stressed strong relationships among students, teachers, parents, Program Coordinators and enrichment teachers.

We interviewed alum Niles Owens about his experience in the program and how it shaped his life as a student.

How did you become involved in IEA’s Pipeline program?
I believe I was selected around the time I was beginning middle school. It seemed like a great opportunity that my parents supported me pursuing.

What challenges did you face in your schooling experience?
When I got to [University of California, Riverside], it was hard for me to keep up with the pace of the quarter system. I went in thinking I was going to take 20 units a quarter and graduate early. I was hit with a dose of reality almost immediately. It would have made more sense for me to start slow and work my way up once I better understood how to keep up with the pace. This was not new for me because I had the same issue transitioning from elementary to middle school and middle school to high school.

How do you think this program changed your schooling experience and outlook towards education?
The program had a way of breaking things down more than my teachers had the opportunity or time to do. The program either offered extra help, or gave new information sooner than I would have gotten it in school. Because of that, I had a definite advantage in math, arts, and  the SAT’s.

How did the Pipeline program prepare you for college, your career, and/or adulthood?
It definitely gave me the opportunity to get more attention with teachers who were experts in their field. I remember the SAT Prep instructor helped improve my score over 200 points. He broke things down and helped me understand how the exam is scored and even what the graders look for in the writing portion. This helped me to understand that even if I’m good at something, it never hurts to have someone else help you improve something that you may already be good at.

Do you have a favorite memory from the Pipeline program?
Nothing was more memorable than the college tours. The classes were fun and always informative, but the college tours helped put everything together. I hadn’t had much exposure to college campuses until taking the trips with the Pipeline program. I can’t put into words how eye-opening of an experience those were for my friends and I. Some schools that I had not previously considered became strong contenders for enrollment and others that were contenders may have been removed from my list based off those tours.

In what ways do you think programs like this benefit gifted and highly-able students in public schools?
I think that programs like this help gifted students in public schools by providing the additional help to stay focused in a setting where their needs aren’t as nurtured as they probably should be. It’s easy for a young person to get discouraged, but they can also be uplifted when they are put around like-minded individuals and instructors who can give them additional attention.

What advice, given your experience with Pipeline, would you give to gifted children and their families?
Take advantage of the opportunities that programs like this present. Visit colleges and universities anytime you can. Visit the ones you like and don’t like, because you might change your mind. Get help in subjects that you think you already have a good understanding in. Lastly, it’s never too early to start prepping for college.

What have you been up to since completing high school (college, career, etc.)?
After graduating from Pasadena High School in 2007, I graduated from UC Riverside in 2012 with a Bachelor’s in Media and Cultural Studies. After UCR, I graduated from Cal Baptist University in 2014 with a Master’s in Kinesiology with an emphasis in Sport Management. Currently, I work at UC Riverside’s Recreation Department as a Special Events and Operations Manager. I live in Moreno Valley, CA with my wife who I met while attending UCR.

I can honestly say that I owe a lot to the Pipeline program. If not for them, I might not have been as prepared as I was for high school and college.

If you are interested in learning more about the Pipeline to Success program or would like to speak with someone about bringing the program to your district, please visit the Pipeline webpage for more information.

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My relationship with IEA began in 2002 when I was a seventh grader. I grew up the product of 40-student classrooms and overworked teachers in a large California public school system. At age 7, my father passed away and my mother struggled to figure out how to reenter the workforce and maintain some normalcy for her two sons. With so much to handle, she left my brother and me in charge of our own education. For years I struggled between unmotivated teachers who ignored me because I was “doing fine” and amazing teachers who were too shackled by overcrowding and underfunding to provide full academic support. There were times when I felt like leaving school – when it wasn’t  worth the boredom of just sitting there or the discipline of detention for distracting other students  when I finished work early.

But then IEA came into my life. They worked hand-in-hand with me to identify and send me to a highly rigorous and highly creative high school. And from attending the Yunasa summer camp to discovering a deeper love of architecture through their Apprenticeship program, IEA fueled an intellectual fire within me that at times had felt like just an ember. They provided me opportunities that I could never have found on my own and that my mother could never pay for. At a time in my life when I needed a mentor, they were there.

There are two areas where I believe IEA makes a real difference in students’ lives: enabling them to find an academic area that inspires them to learn, and building the emotional support system that allows them to succeed.

I believe that one of the most important aspects of education is teaching students that what they learn in school is not only applicable to the classroom but also to the situations they encounter every day and to the passions they may one day pursue. However, it is an aspect that is often overlooked and – without the necessary mentors to show them – an aspect that is hard for students to fully understand. IEA’s Academy and EXPLORE programs introduce this real-world application aspect to the learning environments of young students. By creating exciting alternative-learning environments or matching industry professionals with high­ achieving children, these programs enable students to directly see their education applied to the world and gain the appreciation for learning necessary to achieve academic excellence. These programs give the required personalized attention that allows students to delve deep where their interests lie and also motivates them to succeed and grow beyond where books and hypotheticals could take them.

But it’s not only intellectual and academic stimulation that these programs provide; it is also a social and emotional foundation necessary to maintain their academic performance. Each and every IEA program builds a community of intellectually curious and academically motivated students to form the emotional and social foundation to push students to their full potential. Programs like Yunasa allow students to be surrounded by peers who share a love of learning and create an environment where students can be comfortable with themselves and their minds. I remember attending Yunasa as a 12-year-old – interested in nature and slightly awkward – and for the first time feeling like I could talk about anything with anyone. IEA helped build my confidence and made me feel like I could explore what I loved. It connected me to a group of friends that bolstered my curiosity and my belief that I could achieve whatever I put my mind to. That community and that inspiration have been key to my development and I believe that they are key to every child’s development. They are essential to helping young students maintain their motivation for education and ensure that they are excited to continue learning.

The Institute for Educational Advancement has been and continues to be an integral part of my life. They have been there for every major decision from choosing the right high school to deciding to go to Harvard. I know that I am the person I am today because of them.

Since joining IEA as a Caroline D. Bradley Scholar in 2002, Byron has participated in multiple programs with IEA and for the last four years has served as a selection committee member for the CDB Scholarship. As of 2017, Byron serves on the Board of Directors. Currently, Byron is a Vice President at Insight Venture Partners, a venture capital and growth equity firm based in New York. Prior to Insight, Byron worked at Bain & Company as a management consultant and also at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation as part of their Global Health Discovery team. He graduated from Harvard College with degrees in Biomedical Engineering and Economics.

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Thank you to all the parents and volunteers who devote their time and resources to help IEA run smoothly. From organizing files in the office to speaking at a Gifted Support Group meeting to assisting with one of our special events, our volunteers are essential and their contributions are immeasurable. We cannot thank you enough for your generosity.

Thank you to everyone who has donated this year. Your support is essential to ensuring every gifted child has the chance to reach their full potential.  Financial gifts, both big and small, allow us to provide programming, materials and services to gifted students, parents and teachers. A special thank you to those who sponsored our Let’s Connect Benefit Dinner and Silent Auction:

   SCG Publishing

Thank you to everyone who has shared information about our work, passed on a blog post and/or helped us advocate for gifted children. You are helping us build a brighter future for gifted students across the country.

Finally, thank you to all the gifted children who inspire us with their creativity, perseverance, ingenuity and passion for learning. We hope we have enriched your lives as much as you have ours.

Thank you to everyone who has supported IEA this year!

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Min-Ling is IEA’s Apprenticeship Program Coordinator. She joined IEA after teaching high school mathematics in Los Angeles. Her dedication to supporting high-potential students is rooted in her own experiences as a student who struggled to find outlets that nurtured her intellectual and social dispositions.

Amelia is a 10th grader who attends a small private school in Northern California. She enjoys singing and dancing, as well as reading about the universe and diving into the intricacies of supernovae. Amelia is self-motivated but often finds that her school and the courses offered do not satisfy her curiosity in the arts, math, and sciences. The content to learn within her school is often shallow, and completing assignments of knowledge-gathering is baffling to her, as she can find the answer with taps on a keyboard and Wikipedia. She despises memorization. Amelia is respectful. With that said, she follows her enthusiastic and inspiring teachers as they “cover material” which she masters quickly. Amelia is an example of a gifted child within “American schools [that] pledge to educate everyone and expose students to a wide variety of topics” (Davidson, 2004). Amelia’s needs are oftentimes overlooked.

Providing safe and nurturing learning environments for gifted students is often difficult when the student seeks services within educational spaces that are not aware of the needs of gifted youngsters. As the coordinator for a gifted program and a teacher of general education students, I have gained knowledge and experience from my interactions with teenagers. Being an advocate is pivotal in my responsibility to offer the best learning environment for gifted students.

Understanding the needs of a gifted teenager

Advocating for a gifted teenager will require one to look at how we evaluate a valuable learning opportunity. “A gifted, creative child needs [his or her] creativity honed and trained” (Davidson, 2004). Gifted and creative students need options to dive deeply in content and insights from experts to develop passion. They often feel pressures to achieve or not achieve based on structures in place to support their development. As a supporter of a teenager, being open and flexible to his or her passions is vital. Asking questions that qualitatively investigate learning experiences rather than quantitatively evaluating success will motivate students to find their passion. It’s nice to feel you have room to learn and then decide if you would like to continue with the path.

Clear communication of needs

To communicate as an advocate, one must look to the student. Seeking inherently higher intellectual simulations and communicating the needs socially and emotionally of the teen will be a critical component of being an advocate. Listening and observing will be the greatest part to communicating what teenagers may need for their learning. “The construct of meaningfulness, challenge, choice, interest, and enjoyment, have been shown to be central to learning” (Gentry & Springer, 2002). While keeping this criterion in mind, asking observational questions of educators in the youngster’s life will help identify his or her needs. Oftentimes having a mentor to help guide the teenager will enable the needed growth of a gifted student. Having a content expert develop a professional relationship with the student and give constructive criticism will give a youngster real-world working skills.

Be willing to compromise

As an advocate, one will need to work with various people. Finding the best fit for a gifted teenager will require discussion and planning with the youngster, mentor, educators, and family. When there are many vested interests and experts working to find or provide the best opportunities, it might not fit the vision of everyone, but keep the youngster and his or her need for enriching experiences in mind. Ellen Winner writes about gifted children and their “rage to master,” in other words, their willingness to do what they are passionate about for hours each day until they find their level of mastery (Whalen, 2000). Sometimes the path of a gifted teenager is unconventional, but keeping the youngster’s needs in mind will help construct and execute the best fit.

Reflection

Continuous consideration and assessment of learning experiences will identify the strongest approaches to nurturing a youngster. Advocating for a teenager will require a subjective reflection of the teenager’s desires and needs as he or she nears adulthood, “looking at gifted children, first and foremost, as the unique beings that they are rather than the eminent adults the might someday become” (Delisle, 2014).

References:

Davidson Institute for Talent Development. Advocating for Exceptionally Gifted Young People: A Guidebook (2011). Web. 25 Sept. 2014.

Whalen, Sam. “Sustaining ‘The Rage to Master’: A Conversation with Ellen Winner.” The Journal of Secondary Gifted Education, Spring 2000.

Gentry, Marcia, and Penny Mork Springer. “Secondary Student Perceptions of Their Class Activities Regarding Meaningfulness, Challenge, Choice, and Appeal: An Initial Validation Study.” The Journal of Secondary Gifted Education, Summer 2002.

Davidson, Jan, Bob Davidson, and Laura Vanderkam. Genius Denied: How to Stop Wasting our Brightest Young Minds. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2004.

Delisle, James R. Dumbing Down America: The War On Our Nation’s Brightest Young Minds (And What We Can Do To Fight Back. Waco: Prufrock Press, 2014.

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This post is part of the Hoagies’ Gifted Education Page October Blog Hop on Gifted Advocacy. Check out all of the other great blogs participating in Hoagies’ October Blog Hop here.

Photo credit: Innovation_School via photopin cc

Here are some of those quotes:

“The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little.” – Thomas Merton

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” – Jim Rohn

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” – Annie Dillard

“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” – Vincent Van Gogh

“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” – Vince Lombardi

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

As we looked at the quotes and listened to why each person chose that quote, we found a few themes: We are all here to make a difference. The issue we are addressing – the importance of meeting the needs of gifted children – is a big issue, and we encounter many barriers in working towards that goal. However, that goal is worthy of every ounce of our time and attention, and the small steps we take to get there are powerful and important. Every small step we take impacts a life, and every life we impact impacts the world. That is why we are all here.

Over the rest of the retreat, we talked specifically about the small – and sometimes large – steps IEA will take over the coming year to support the needs of gifted children across the country, steps that included everything from school outreach to parent support to enhanced program offerings.

All of us in the gifted community can take small steps to work towards a world in which our gifted children are understood, celebrated, and supported. Please join us as we take necessary steps towards that worthwhile goal.

Lauren is a 2012 Caroline D. Bradley Scholar and a rising high school sophomore attending a boarding school in Connecticut. She recently shared with us what she thinks incoming freshmen should know to help them prepare to enter high school. Here are her tips.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more nervous and excited for anything in my life than I was for starting high school. But let me emphasize “nervous,” as I’m sure all of you rising freshmen are or will be.

Therefore, I’ve compiled a very brief list of how to get prepared over the summer – in other words, a list of all of the things I wish that I’d done before my own freshman year!

1) Make a detailed list of what you’re going to need in the fall!

It turns out that just writing “clothes,” “shoes,” and “school supplies” leaves a lot of room for forgetting important things. Instead, make it specific: “six multicolored binders,” “rain boots,” “soccer cleats.” For boarders, this is twice as important, because there are things for your room that you’re really going need to remember: dryer sheets, duct tape, staplers, snack food, etc.

2) With #1 in mind, try your best to go shopping as early in the summer as possible!

Buy as many school supplies as you can before they go to full price in August, and boarders, make sure you get to the dormitory section of Target before the college students do! Trust me – everything is sold out if you wait until late summer.

3) Try to prepare for sports and classes a little bit during the summer as well.

A little nervous to take freshman physics? Then try to get your hands on a textbook and read through it a little. Not sure what to do to make JV soccer? Run drills throughout the summer. It’ll be worth it in the fall when you feel confident and prepared to take on high school!

4) Speaking of sports, don’t shy away from them!

A lot of schools have athletic requirements. Trust me, and don’t be stressed about this! Just start thinking about your fall activity early, and–if it’s competitive–make sure you prepare a little. But also, don’t become too obsessed with making a certain team, because your plans can always change. I went into this past fall absolutely determined to play field hockey but ended up doing soccer. In the winter, I was sure I was going to do basketball, but found myself in hockey instead. So, don’t stress too much because plans can and often do change, but remember to stay fit if you’re looking to try out for a competitive sport. And if you want to try out for something but you’re nervous to do so, try out anyway! I promise you, it’s really not that bad.

5) Relax!

With how busy my own summer schedule is, I probably have no right to say this, but I’ll say it anyway: try to just have a slow, relaxing, fun summer, because–trust me–the fall holds plenty of excitement and stress to make up for it. So, read good books, watch good movies, get killer tans, hit the beach, and spend time with your friends and family. Boarders, try to spend time a lot of time with your family; homesickness can be pretty rough at first, and you’ll miss them a lot. All in all, just try to take it easy in between athletic conditioning and school supply shopping.

I hope these tips are helpful as you prepare for school this summer.

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Lisa is the mother of 3 gifted children and lives outside of San Francisco.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a parent say, “My child is gifted but he’s not one of those disrespectful know-it-all kids.” These parents are referring to the gifted gold standard: a child who knows the answers but politely participates in all of the class discussions with the appropriate amount of enthusiasm. Everyone wants this poster child, but they are hard to find, mostly because the traits that make them gifted also make it difficult for them to behave like model students. Parents might try to mold their gifted kids into this ideal, but it comes at a cost.

I learned the price of my son’s struggle to become a model student during our recent college road trip. We were sitting in a lecture hall filled with eager parents and high school students waiting to hear the admissions officer’s pearls of wisdom. Around 2:15, she started to talk. Around 2:25, I realized she hadn’t said anything. I had listened intently for 10 minutes and, as far as I could tell, she only made one point. Her speech was peppered with “…to put it another way” and “I don’t mean to repeat myself but…” I started to get annoyed. I was stuck in a room with 100 other awestruck parents and teenagers waiting for some information on the school’s culture, classes or admissions policies. Instead, I got a lot of words. So, I did what any mature 51 year old woman would do: I passed a note to my son. 10,000 words and still she hasn’t said anything, I wrote on a small notepad. My son’s eyes widened, he took the pen and wrote, I’m chewing gum to stay awake.

The information session went on for an hour and fifteen minutes. She made 3 points. By the time we left the school, I was mad.

“What a total waste of time. I can’t believe we all sat there while she said nothing.”

What he said next surprised me.

“You really haven’t been in school for a while. Now you know how I feel. I always thought it was my fault. I thought I wasn’t paying close enough attention. I thought I might have ADHD. It never occurred to me that they weren’t actually saying anything.”

My son had difficulty behaving like the model student his teachers and I wanted him to be. He is an intense child with a quick mind, excellent memory and excess energy. He got distracted when his teacher repeated a concept he already knew. He called out when the teacher introduced a subject that interested him. When he couldn’t politely deliver on his academic promise, he believed there was something wrong with him.

Thankfully, he had some understanding teachers who knew that he needed more than a warning to stop calling out in class. They helped him develop strategies to focus without squashing his enthusiasm. My favorite was his 11th grade math teacher. My son’s classmates had stopped doing their work because he would call out the answers before they could finish. At the teacher’s urging, my son developed a strategy that fed his competitive nature yet made room for other students to participate. He sat in the front row and rapidly worked on the class problem until he found an answer. Then he wrote the answer in big letters on a sheet of paper and flashed it at the teacher. She nodded or shook her head, thereby acknowledging his work. On a good day, he would put the sheet away and wait. On his more challenging days, he would turn around and show his answer to the students behind him, undermining the whole point of the exercise.

My interactions with my son and his teachers have taught me a few things:

• Gifted students who call out or distract other student are not disrespectful or know-it-alls, they are in the in the wrong learning environment. These students need tools to manage their learning style, not disapproval from their teachers and parents. Judging them just makes them feel bad about themselves.
• Gifted students need to be able to distinguish between those times a speaker is doing a poor job of conveying information (or is giving it at the wrong pace) and when they are having a bad day. Understanding where the problem lies allows them to demand more from themselves and their learning environment.
• A teacher who is successful at silencing an extroverted gifted child loses the opportunity to harness the students’ energy to benefit the class. Energy and passion can be infectious and a positive influence on everyone.
• Gifted students need a lot of self control to succeed in a regular classroom. When I was sitting in the lecture hall with my son, I was the one who started passing notes. At 51, I no longer had the incentive or will to sit quietly and listen. Without the support of parents and teachers, how long before our children come to the same conclusion and check out of the classroom?

I am going to take what I learned from my son and apply it to my daughter. She faces many of the same behavioral challenges he faces, but to an even more extreme degree. She chats, she sings, she calls out. She distracts other students. But now I know that these are challenges that require a group effort to solve. So I will work with the teachers to dispel any misunderstandings about whether she is a serious student or disrespectful. I will try to understand why she behaves the way she does and ask her teachers for help to provide her with the tools to channel her mind and mouth. But I will no longer critique her actions in an attempt to mold her into the ideal gifted student. My daughter needs need parents who understand and advocate for her. The world already has plenty of critics.

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