This month, the Institute for Educational Advancement (IEA) kicks off our 20^th year of supporting the hearts and minds of gifted youth. Since 1998, we have been dedicated to meeting the unique needs of gifted children so that they can reach their full intellectual and personal potential.

As we reflect on our history, our milestones, our current impact and our vision for the future, we invite our community to join us in identifying what makes IEA special. Can you add to the list below to help us get to 20 and celebrate our 20^th Anniversary?

1. Community. Central to our initiatives here at IEA is building a community of learners, teachers and mentors. This “community” happens organically with the ongoing connections between of the families we serve, but also through the events and gatherings we organize to bring new perspectives and voices together.
2. Balance. As expressed in our logo of the Golden Ratio, at IEA we aim to help gifted youth achieve balance in their intellectual and personal lives. We understand that personal growth is multi-faceted, and involves not just the intellect but also emotional well-being, personal values and social connections.
   
3. Fueling Curiosity. Gifted children need deeper exploration and enrichment than what is generally offered in a traditional school setting. We listen to our community, responding to their needs by offering deeply robust and advanced learning opportunities for all ages of gifted learners. Most recently, we launched our LABS series in response to an identified need expressed by our families for rich, STEM-based opportunities for middle and high schoolers.
4. Partnerships. IEA first officially partnered with Pasadena Unified School District in 2000 to offer our Pipeline to Success program, an effort which successfully supported underserved gifted students in the district. Today, we continue to partner with local schools, school districts and education organizations so that through our combined efforts, the unique learning needs of the gifted population are met.
5. Parent and Teacher Support. Finding the right resources and support for a gifted child can be overwhelming, frustrating and time-intensive. Since our inception, IEA has helped to ease this process for parents and teachers by providing in-person and online (see our Gifted Resource Center) guidance, counseling and support to help these caring adults find the optimal educational environment for a child.
   
6. All Students. IEA is committed to helping all gifted children, regardless of background. This is why as a nonprofit we fundraise to be able to provide our heavily subsidized program offerings. And for those who are not able to pay tuition, we offer financial aid and scholarships. We are dedicated to not turning away any qualified student from participating in our programs. While it varies by individual program, approximately 1 in 4 students served by IEA receives financial aid.
7. Advocacy. While IEA and our partners have made progress in advocating for the rights of gifted learners to receive needed support and resources, we still have a ways to go. In a national poll conducted through our Public Policy Initiative we have uncovered that the general public believes in supporting our gifted learners financially. With our many education and advocacy partners, we are working to ensure that gifted youth have access to the resources they need to thrive.
   
8. People. Each time we talk to a parent, teach a student, train a teacher or provide counseling, our IEA staff, teachers, counselors and Fellows are deeply committed to providing the highest quality services possible. Our dedicated runs deep and it is felt by the students and parents in our community who overwhelmingly report positive experiences with IEA.

I invite you to learn more about how we plan to celebrate our 20^th Anniversary and share with us what you believe makes IEA special. And if you’re interested in participating in our 20^th Anniversary Celebration Committee, drop me a line at adaniels@educationaladvancement.org!

Share your memories with us on social media using the hashtag #IEA20.

Do you fit in? Do you have friends? Do you filter your feelings, your thoughts, your ideas or your words when around others? Have you “played the part” to be accepted?  Are you worried about losing your true self?  Do you wonder if you will ever be understood?  Do you feel things so intensely that sometimes you think there must be something wrong with you?

Pretty deep questions for a kid to have to deal with, huh? Well, like it or not, questions and thoughts like this are what many gifted outliers deal with.  It is not easy to look like a kid, yet think, worry and fret over issues that are so not “kid-like”. On top of not being easy, there is the issue of not having anyone to rant to, or talk to, or just hang with that also understands you. A lot of us gifted kids don’t have a tribe.

Finding My Tribe

This year in June, I, like so many other kids across the country, will be attending summer camp.  However, my summer camp is so much more than just a summer camp.  I will be attending  Yunasa West  – It’s located in the beautiful mountains of Colorado,  far away from cities, technology and really far away from my home in California.

Yunasa West is where I’ve found my tribe. It is a summer camp program for gifted kids to help them understand themselves; and for me, it’s helped me understand that I belong.

‘Yunasa’ means Balance in Lakota, and the goal of the one week camp is to balance all sides of giftedness – intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical. This is not as easy as it sounds, since balance does not come naturally to kids who tend to be “high-energy” in their area of strength. Yunasa gives us a chance to strengthen our weaknesses and grow; all in an attempt to achieve balance. Every time after camp, I go away knowing more about myself, and feeling more like I truly have a place in the world.

One week?  All of this in one tiny, little week?

Sure, one week of being with a group you really belong in may not seem like enough time, but it is!  I came away from my very first summer at Yunasa with knowledge – the following knowledge:

Everyone belongs somewhere. There is always someone like you in the world.

It gives me something to look forward to for the next year, as well as the knowledge that I’m not alone in the world.

I’m Home

The words, ‘I’ve found my tribe,’ will be mentioned a lot here, and I want to share something with you, to help fully express how true those words are.

I have experienced “first day of camp” thrice, and on each of those first days at Yunasa, the words “I’m home,” run through my mind…over and over.

I know I’m safe at Yunasa, and I can be me. I can let go of my chameleon-ness.  I can talk about things that outside of Yunasa, would just cause people to stare at me confusedly, and/or then tease me about.

My home with my tribe is a place where I can talk about nearly being knocked off a hill by a tiny plant that wasn’t even moving; all because I was holding my hands out to it – and not be laughed at.

The place where people don’t tease me about my grade level, or ask if I’ve skipped grades. The place that I fit in. My second (or is it my first?) home.

Belonging is more important than fitting in.

Being a part of my tribe, means I am respected and my knowledge and my knowing is valued and can be shared with others. The same is true of the elders in our tribe; their knowledge and knowing is valued and they lovingly pass it on to us.  Being this odd, different, quirky kid can be a little scary. We can look around searching for proof that we will be okay. We search for adults who are like us, so we can be reassured that we too can grow up and grow into our true selves. It is sometimes hard to find those examples of our future selves, (too many people have hidden themselves, or have played the part of a chameleon for so long that they have forgotten who they really are) so when we are at Yunasa, we look up to our elders, and breathe a sigh of relief.

Stephanie Tolan, one of the Camp Elders, and  a Senior Fellow of Yunasa, compares gifted kids and cheetahs.

“If a cheetah is confined to a 10 X 12 foot cage, though it may pace or fling itself against the bars in restless frustration, it won’t run 70 mph.

IS IT STILL A CHEETAH?

If a cheetah has only 20 mph rabbits to chase for food, it won’t run 70 mph while hunting. If it did, it would flash past its prey and go hungry! Though it might well run on its own for exercise, recreation, fulfillment of its internal drive, when given only rabbits to eat the hunting cheetah will run only fast enough to catch a rabbit.

IS IT STILL A CHEETAH?

If a cheetah is fed Zoo Chow it may not run at all.

IS IT STILL A CHEETAH?

If a cheetah is sick or if its legs have been broken, it won’t even walk.

IS IT STILL A CHEETAH?”

“…Schools are to extraordinarily intelligent children what zoos are to cheetahs. Many schools provide a 10 x 12 foot cage, giving the unusual mind no room to get up to speed. Many highly gifted children sit in the classroom the way big cats sit in their cages, dull-eyed and silent. Some, unable to resist the urge from inside even though they can’t exercise it, pace the bars, snarl and lash out at their keepers, or throw themselves against the bars until they do themselves damage.”

-Stephanie Tolan  (for the complete Is It A Cheetah essay…click here)

Yunasa, to me, is a place where cheetahs can run full-speed, with no bars to hold them back. A place where we can grow and learn about ourselves, and where we are given tools to help us… out in the ‘real world.’

Yunasa is an amazing refuge and a second home,  if you feel like you don’t fit in – anywhere. 

It’s a place to just be yourself and a place where you will learn to balance all parts of yourself.

I Belong

I have found a place where I belong. I have found a place where I can see a little of myself in my peers. I have found a place where I can see my future walking along side me.  Yunasa exists for longer than just one week, as I always take a little of it away with me each summer, and nurture it until I return the next year.  I have learned to live for every moment of every day, and not just for my one week homecoming at Yunasa. Yes, Yunasa has helped teach me this!

If you are interested in applying for a Yunasa Summer Camp, please visit the IEA website for more information and full application.

This post originally appeared on Hannah’s blog, Uncharted Journey, and has been reposted with permission.

While on a recent road trip, I explored ways to pass the time and make the journey more pleasurable.

Eat Well

Pack a snack that is healthful and wholesome, rather than sugary or greasy.  This will help prevent the need to stop for expensive gas station snacks and avoid low-energy crankiness mid-trip. Take water with you and stay hydrated.  Dehydration can lead to headaches and sluggishness, in addition to tummy troubles and a general feeling of being unwell.

Car Sick?

WebMD¹ says, “the vestibular system – the body’s system to help regulate balance and motion – and the vision system send corresponding signals to the brain.”  Sometimes, these signals conflict, such as when you are sitting in the back seat of a car.  You are looking at a stationary object (the seat in front of you) but your body is feeling all the turns and speed.

Traditional medications are antihistamines, which can make people drowsy. Here are a few alternatives to over-the-counter travel aids to decrease feelings of carsickness:

• Try to look out of the front window, if possible. Keep your eyes moving, not focused on a static point.
• Ginger or peppermint oil can be used aromatically or under the tongue. You can add a drop to water in a glass or metal (not plastic) bottle to drink, or just smell the oil directly from the bottle.  You can also apply topically to pulse points or the back of your neck, but may want to use a carrier oil, such as coconut oil, first.
• Motion sickness wristbands or beads for your pressure points or the ears can be worn.
• Eat something before you go – a small, low-fat meal is recommended as fat, greasy meals may increase feelings of nausea.

The Games that People Play

In addition to the perennial “I spy” (“I spy with my little eye, something that starts with ‘A’”) and license plates games, many fun road games have been invented.  The complexity of the game can be increased based on the problem-solving abilities of the players.

To head-off the dreaded, “Are we there yet?” have kids monitor the trip’s progress in entertaining ways.  For example, the average song is roughly 3.5 minutes.  (You can round to 4, if you prefer.)  So a 60 mile trip, at 60mph, would be around 17 songs.  Each passenger could prepare a playlist of 10-20 songs, for however many hours the trip will take, and then count the songs to see how far you’ve come.

Another math game is to calculate the trip from miles to kilometers. If the average person walks at a pace of 3.5 mph, how long would it take to walk the distance?  How many marathons would you have to run to cover the trip?

For more media-minded individuals, there are always movie or music games.

• Person A names a movie. Person B names a second movie that shares a common actor. Then, Person C (or A, if there’s only two of you) names another movie that shares an actor with Movie 2 and so on.  For added complexity, you could make it that all three movies have the same actor in them.
• Books and Movies: How many movies can you name that were books first?
• Music: Name a title. Next person names another title that starts with the last word (or letter) of the previous title.
• Listen to the radio. Try to guess the artist of the song as soon as it starts.  Change the station periodically to capture different genres, especially for cross-generational groups.

Variations of these games could be used for topics of sports, sciences, and social studies, whatever subject is most appealing to the players.

The key to a pleasurable road trip is to have fun and minimize discomforts along the way.  As long as transitions can be seen as exciting adventures rather than unpleasant or anxiety-producing inconveniences, the memories of the journey can be as gratifying as the memories made at the destination.

Happy traveling!

¹http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/features/how-to-beat-motion-sickness?page=2

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Jennifer is the Program Coordinator for Yunasa, IEA’s pioneering summer camps that unite gifted young people ages 10-15 with experts in highly able youth. In a nurturing setting, campers explore and grow the intellectual, social, emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects of their lives. Yunasa is the Lakota Sioux word for “balance.”

“Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment, I know this is the only moment.”

-Tich Nhat Hanh, Zen Buddhist monk

At Yunasa, we begin each psychosynthesis session with a similar directive. Tich Nhat Hanh’s words remind us that all of life is held in this moment; his words encourage us to smile and seek gratitude for the moment we are in. Psychosynthesis, as practiced at Yunasa, is meant to cultivate balance amongst its participants, whose minds are often swirling with thoughts, anxieties, ideas, and observations, and for whom a peaceful moment is a true gift.

The word “balance” connotes an array of ideas – time management, sanity, stress-control, and lithe circus professionals sauntering across tight ropes. At Yunasa and within all of IEA’s programs, we strive to impart the type of balance that helps us to understand and interact with every piece of ourselves in an effort to pursue wholeness. In his commentary, “The Heart of Understanding,” Tich Nhat Hanh refers to the five elements that comprise a human being as five rivers that flow through every one of us: “…the river of form, which means our body, the river of feelings, the river of perceptions, the river of mental formations, and the river of consciousness.” These “rivers” are “made by the other four,” he says. “They have to co-exist; they have to inter-be with all the others.”   Just as each limb, neuron, cell, blood particle, and organ work together to sustain physical existence, so do the body, myriad emotions, soul, mind, and relationships interconnect to create life experience. Thomas Merton, a Catholic Trappist monk, says, “There is in all visible things…a hidden wholeness.” We strive to be whole, to seek balance, because wholeness brings us closest to who we are – complex and alive.

The pursuit of wholeness requires vulnerability because it means that we are intentionally acknowledging parts of ourselves that are less developed, even broken. In our culture of social media, it is tempting to present a polished rendition of ourselves – the most attractive, the cleverest, the most sophisticated version – as though we are ashamed to reveal the bits that we are working on, the parts of ourselves that need help. If we are not careful, this tendency creeps into our real-world presentation of our self, as well; this self is safer, impervious, protected by the armor of contrived impeccability. To grow in understanding of ourselves, however, and to establish meaningful, mutually empathetic connections with others, we must embrace vulnerability. As Brené Brown, author and public speaker, discusses in the podcast On Being: The willingness to approach life with our whole heart cannot be less than our willingness to be broken-hearted.

“We must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves.”

-Thomas Merton

We must take risks to be whole. For a shy intellectual, it might feel terrifying to acknowledge his innate need to integrate into an accepting community, especially if he suffers from the internal vituperation of perfectionism, when every word that he uses to forge a connection with another leaves him riddled with doubt. Likewise, understanding the connection between one’s emotions and her physical reactions, or engaging her physicality through outdoor adventures, might seem scary for the individual whose exceptional gifts are rooted elsewhere. Some of us prefer to eschew emotion altogether in an effort to remain focused on our work or to avoid the discomfort emotion sometimes renders. To live in relationship with ourselves and others, to pursue wholeness and balance, we must, with vulnerability and honesty, take the necessary risks. Yunasa is important because it is a safe, accepting place to take these risks and to delve into intensive learning about ourselves and our world.

This is our intention: to develop our ability to relate to others and our capacity to empathize with different perspectives; to explore and cultivate our blazing intellect; to create honest connections with the world, with nature, and with our community; to grow in understanding of our range of emotions – intense, subtle, tender, and wildly uncomfortable; to engage the intricacies of our spirit – both delicate and resilient; and to acknowledge the interconnectedness of each of these pieces – how they influence and inform one another at every moment.

In seeking balance, we are not striving to achieve equilibrium amongst every element of our personhood. Living in balance does not mean that one’s social skills are on par with her ability to reason, or that one’s physical agility matches her profound emotional reaction to beauty in nature or literature or art. Balance isn’t a strange and unnatural perfection; rather, balance is to understand the relationship between all of our parts – the developed pieces and the fragile ones. A musician does not employ every note of his instrument simultaneously or with equality; if he did, the result would be shrill and offensive. Instead, he creates an interaction between each of the notes; they complement one another, culminating in mellifluous accord – beautiful and alive.

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Learn more about IEA’s Yunasa summer camps for gifted youth here.

Twenty-four kids from across the country joined us for Yunasa West 2013. This was the second year of Yunasa West, and it proved to be yet another memorable and magical year!

Campers explored all five aspects of Self – intellectual, emotional, social, physical, and spiritual – and learned how to work towards achieving balance across these five areas of their lives.

Every day contained at least one activity to help campers embrace each of the five aspects of Self. In just one day, a camper could go rock climbing (physical), talk with all of the other campers during activities and at meals (social), learn about the different aspects of emotional intelligence in a special workshop (emotional and intellectual), and do yoga (spiritual, emotional, physical, and intellectual).

Campers enjoyed the opportunities to try something new and conquer fears through activities like horseback riding, archery, a climbing wall, and ropes courses.

Many campers enjoyed becoming more aware of and developing their spiritual abilities. Through workshops and discussions, they learned to connect with each other and nature in unexpected ways and were able to find inner peace.

Relaxing activities like fishing, workshops on relaxation techniques, and guided meditation sessions were also big hits with campers who often have trouble turning off their minds in day-to-day life.

Campers developed meaningful relationships and found support and acceptance in each other. With this, they were able to gain more self-acceptance, which many felt was extremely valuable.

It was amazing to see these kids – so many of whom stand out in their schools for being so different – interacting with each other so seamlessly from day one. No one was excluded. No one felt left out. These kids became a family.

Click on the button below for more photos from Yunasa West.

What is your child’s favorite memory from Yunasa West? Please share in the comment section below.

Gifted Children at Home

The innate characteristics of gifted children appear in both the classroom and at home. Two of these characteristics, as Sharon points out, are perfectionism and intense intellectual interest.

Perfectionism is a common trait among gifted children, and it can be quite a challenge to deal with at school and at home for both children and their parents. “Learning to fail and learning it is okay not to be perfect are some of the best gifts we can give these kids,” Sharon explains. She suggests playing games of chance with your children to help them learn what it “feels” like not to win.

It is also important to teach our gifted children balance; but as Sharon points out, balance can be very difficult to achieve. Our children have deep, intense intellectual and/or creative interests, and they want to pour all of their energy into what they love doing. While this drive is part of their gift and may lead them to amazing success, they also need to learn how to calm themselves and how not to get themselves into overwhelming situations. Thus, Sharon suggests encouraging your kids to go out and do something physically active when they feel tense or allowing them some down time alone.

Gifted Children at School

Gifted children often encounter many challenges in the traditional school. Some of these challenges arise because schools are designed for the developmentally average child – and your gifted child is definitely not average – and some challenges result from teachers who, through no fault of their own, have been less exposed to gifted students and do not know how to recognize or accommodate their unique needs. These kids are a population often ignored by teacher training programs and misunderstood by the population at large. So, it is important to understand some of the unique challenges of gifted children and a few of the ways to assist gifted children in dealing with them.

Sharon stresses the importance of teachers understanding the difference between “gifted” and “high-achieving” children. Unlike the high-achieving child, “Your child can be many different ages at the same time, and that age can turn on a dime,” Sharon explains. This will affect your child’s behavior in a classroom. Understanding gifted children – including asynchronous development and the intensities commonly found in the gifted – will help teachers see the root of issues in the classroom more clearly.

If gifted children are receiving appropriate accommodations in class, they generally are able to thrive emotionally and socially. Sometimes gifted children are especially sensitive to issues of fairness and justice, especially when prizes are awarded or when teachers are publicly charting progress. After all, it takes much longer to read a book at the sixth grade level than one at the first grade level. When a child feels that something isn’t fair in class, it is important to correct the situation so that the child does not hide his or her advanced abilities to get the easier assignment. One parent in the group shared that she thought it was really important and valuable when her daughter advocated for herself with the teacher, sharing why she thought something was unfair and asking for it to be corrected.

Recess can also be a huge struggle for gifted children at school, as Sharon describes. Gifted children tend to value rules and order more than other children, so they often see recess as anarchy. No one enforces rules, kids are playing with the “wrong” rules, and there is a lot of noise and overstimulation for those with sensual overexcitabilities. Sharon explains that, while many gifted kids are eventually able to deal with the playground as they get older, some younger children find it the most stressful part of the school day. If your child is having a hard time at recess, take it seriously and work with the school to see if your child can participate in alternate activities during recess until they are able to tolerate it. It is also important to note that because of overexcitabilities, lunchtime can produce similar problems. Read how one mom worked this out with the school for her twice-exceptional son – and how he grew out of it – here.

Understanding “Gifted”

Sharon feels that it is extremely important to talk with your child about what it feels like to be gifted. Gifted children know that they are different, and often, if you do not address this with them, they may internalize these differences, not understand why they are different, and believe that there is something wrong with them. Sharon emphasizes that one of the best things you can do is to ensure that your child is able to socialize with like minded peers. This helps them to understand that they are not alone, that there are others like them out there, and that it is okay to be different.

As the parent of a gifted child, it is also incredibly important for you to seek support from other parents of gifted children, Sharon encourages. The child development books do not apply to your child, and other people probably just don’t get it. Parents face a lot of judgment from relatives, friends, and other parents that comes from their misunderstanding of the nature of giftedness. Many of them think that you are babying or spoiling your kids, that you are pushing them too hard, that you have been “flashcarding” them since they were babies. But the reality is that your child is at a breaking point when the tags on his shirt feel like razor blades on his skin, and that your child is the one pushing herself too hard, not you, and that when your child was three he pulled a physics book off the shelf and started reading while you were in the other room making dinner. The life our kids are experiencing is not the same as what other parents often describe, and it is important for you as a parent to seek support from other parents who are going through situations similar to yours. Parent support groups are critical. It is important for you, too, to know you are not alone.

To be notified of future Gifted Child Parent Support Groups in the Los Angeles area, please contact us or sign up for our email newsletter and make sure to enter your zip code in the form.

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Perfectionism is a quality that I struggle with first hand. Even as an adult, I find myself obsessing over errors in my weekend softball games and silently competing with the runner on the next treadmill at the gym. As a child, I would spend countless hours tearing out pages of sketchbooks and notebooks because there was a misspelled word, a fragmented sentence or even a smudge from my left-handed cursive. A mistake meant that the entire project had to be redone, because if everything didn’t line up perfectly, including my penmanship, it wasn’t worth turning in. Projects and deadlines became daunting, because how could the perfect drawing be executed in just one weekend? After spending time with gifted adolescents throughout the summer, I realized that this was a common trait in gifted students and that I was not alone. I have found ways to focus this perfectionism into more constructive goals as I’ve gotten older, but I still see the importance (especially with gifted children) of addressing the ever “strangling” concept of failure.

Perfectionism often points to “giftedness” because perfection in itself is an abstract idea. Looking for perfection is the thought of pursuing what is possible yet is not concrete in reality. Striving for something better, or reaching your full potential, is not a bad characteristic. However, it can take an emotional turn when you do not create balance in your life. “As with all dimensions of physical, cognitive and emotional well-being, the objective for children who have perfectionistic tendencies should be to find a healthy balance in which there is enough growth, but without undue and debilitating stress” (Matthews, Dona J., and Joanne F. Foster. 2005). Many times this overwhelming stress is an internal conflict that perfectionists impose upon themselves. However, extracurricular activities along with the daunting deadline can have the result of students losing initiative and procrastinating until the last minute. It’s rewarding to pursue excellence; it’s exhausting to disillusion yourself into thinking you’re incapable of completing the task at hand.

Now, as I reflect back on past personal experience, I see how making mistakes can be used as a learning tool. Open communication with students and consistent support is a great start to soothe the frustrations perfectionist behavior inflicts. It can be helpful to address the importance of rewording failures as “learning experiences”, and have faith in the perfectionist to reach his or her overall goals. Not once did I observe what I learned from scoring a 95% on a test. Learning should have been my priority as a perfectionist student, not the grade. This balance of errors and achievements is important for daily life. Without this willingness to take risks and face failure, there would be no innovation or modern day science.

When an assistant asked Thomas Edison, “Well, Mr. Edison, how do you feel about having 1,500 failures to your credit?” Edison replied, “No, they weren’t failures. We now know 1,500 light bulb filaments that don’t work!”

References

Matthews, Dona J., and Joanne F. Foster. Being Smart about Gifted Children: A Guidebook for Parents and Educators. Scottsdale, AZ: Great Potential, 2005. Print.

Silverman, Linda Kreger, and Leland Baska. Counseling the Gifted and Talented. Denver, CO: Love Pub., 1993. Print.

How have you or your kids worked through the challenges that come with perfectionism? Please share in the comment section below.

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There are many strategies to help your children manage their intensities. Most importantly, it is crucial to help your children achieve balance. Balance does not mean equal time spent. Gifted children do not need to spend equal time on each school subject or on sports and art, but they do need to be able to achieve balance among these activities. Balance can be achieved through exposure to and participation in a wide variety of school subjects, physical activities, and creative endeavors. Whatever helps them achieve balance among their complex intellectual, social, emotional, spiritual, and physical needs is beneficial.

Here are a few ways to help your child achieve balance and manage intensities:

1. Encourage a mind-body connection. Yoga is excellent for this.
2. Implement quiet reflection time for the whole family. Whatever name you need to give it for it to have a positive connotation, a “time-out” is a good thing for everyone in the family to be able to have.
3. Encourage non-competitive physical activity.
4. Always remember your child’s answer to the question: “What brings you joy?” Let that guide how you handle situations.
5. Help your child practice visualizations. Spinning Inward by Maureen Murdock provides good visualization exercises, especially for young children.
6. Teach and model meditation and relaxation techniques.
7. Encourage a connection to nature.
8. Seek opportunities for growth for your child in all areas of Self: intellectual, social, emotional, spiritual, and physical.
9. Encourage your child to develop a range of interests outside of the academic sphere.
10. Praise your child, but make sure it is specific and sincere. Gifted children can tell meaningless platitudes from sincere compliments, so make the praise as specific as possible. For example, when praising artwork, say things like, “I like the colors you used in that painting.”
11. Talk about emotions with your child early to develop a common vocabulary. This will help communication when intensities become a problem.
12. Help your child understand his or her own escalation scale. Know what pushes their buttons and what pushes yours. Gifted children often know very well how to frustrate you. Knowing what pushes your buttons will help you see it coming and be ready for it. Practicing and modeling such self-awareness helps your children, as well.
13. Keep calm during emotional outbursts. I know this is easier said than done, but it is very important.
14. When things get out of control, keep it about your child’s emotions, not yours. When the situation is over, you can walk away and reflect on your emotions.
15. Plan ways for your family to relax, reflect, redirect, and retire.

Every child is different, so some of these strategies may work better than others for your child. These are just a starting place as you begin to understand what helps and what doesn’t.

Implementing some of these strategies to achieve balance and increase communication will help your child manage his or her intensities.

What strategies have best helped your children manage their intensities? Please share with us in the comment section below!

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