As we approach a full year of online or hybrid learning, parents are more concerned about whether their child is progressing in schools as expected. Perhaps motivated by learning loss or a child struggling academically, parents may consider tutoring. Finding a tutor for a child involves taking a step back and evaluating the student’s learning landscape.

Talking with a child’s teacher is a starting point for determining whether a tutor is necessary. There are a variety of things to consider: grade level curriculum, organizational skills, attentiveness, study habits and just general life activities. Classroom success ebbs and flows with each student’s situation, especially now with so many schedules disrupted. If it is determined a tutor would be beneficial, remember they are a member of the larger educational team. A tutor will usually want a continuing dialogue with parents because, as the parent, you are the link for sharing information between teacher and tutor.

What tutors can address are specific goals and target outcomes. Choosing a tutor is like choosing a school, “What would be a good fit for the child and meet our expectations?” Once the learning objective is defined, finding a tutor with a particular skill or strength, and teaching style compatible with the student’s learning style is important. If the goal is to build better study habits or processing skills, an executive functioning focused tutor might be a better fit than a traditional subject matter tutor.

When choosing a tutor, much can be learned in a phone interview, but it can be a trial-and-error process to find the best match. It can take time for rapport to be established and the student to become comfortable with the tutor. Tutoring is not an instant fix – it takes time and patience to build the relationship and to build skills and confidence. Parents need to remain involved in their child’s progress – a tutor never replaces that connection.

A few sites to get more ideas about choosing a tutor:

• Four Steps to Finding an Excellent Tutor for Your Child (Reading Rockets)
• How to Find a Tutor During the Pandemic (Parents.com)
• How to find a good tutor (Read and Spell Blog)

Resources for finding a tutor:

• IEA’s Gifted Resource Center
• Davidson Gifted Database
• Stowell Learning Center
• Where to Find Free Online Tutoring During the Coronavirus Crisis (U.S. News & World Report)

1. She doesn’t always seem incredibly attentive. But sometimes she is intensely attentive. Gifted kids often laser-focus their attention when they find something to be important or interesting, but when a topic seems irrelevant or easy to master, they might tune out. This does not necessarily mean your child is dealing with ADHD.
2. He makes complex connections from a young age. I overheard a small child say (about a crying baby), “I wish I could go into her brain and kiss her feelings.”
3. She is more interested in having conversations with adults than other children. Gifted kids often prefer connecting with intellectual peers rather than age-mates. Many IEA participants have said that they didn’t have friends their age until arriving at IEA.
4. His emotions are much bigger than his body. He’s not being defiant; he’s not even throwing a tantrum. His nervous system literally responds to stimuli in an extraordinary, intense way.
5. She masters a task with little instruction or repetition. When a gifted kid is interested in something, she will catch on quickly and sometimes with minimal effort. An 18-month-old might beat her parent at “Memory,” or a 3-year old might teach herself to read.
6. He “feels” the feelings in a room of people, sometimes instantly. Your child might experience an immediate stomachache if he steps into a tense space.
7. She sometimes has more energy than her body can contain. This might manifest as physical energy, emotional energy, sensory energy, an astonishing imagination, or boundless intellectual energy. Follow this link to an article on Dabrowski’s Overexcitabilities.
8. His curiosity knows no bounds. “How does the brain think?” “What is skin made out of?” “Why do our eyes cry when we are sad?” “Can I hold a rainbow? Why not?” Are you weary from all the questions? Would you like me to ask you more questions?
9. She is already a lawyer. You might feel like your kid can talk circles around you, negotiate with clarity and precision, and convince you she is right, even when you logically know she is not.
10. He has a remarkable memory. Your mind is blown when your child vividly describes events that occurred before he turned 2!

Parents tend to know when their child needs something more. If you are looking for an opportunity for your gifted child, you’ve come to the right place. We’re here to provide children with the educational, emotional, and personal support needed to ensure they thrive in all aspects of life and grow into their best and most realized selves. Reach out to us. Ask questions. Let us help!

 “The world is fairly studded and strewn with pennies cast broadside by a generous hand. But- and this is the point- who gets excited by a mere penny? But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is in fact planted in pennies, you have with your poverty bought a lifetime of days.” – Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

As someone prone to dwell in the weightiness of things, this idea has been a real gift to me. Beauty and goodness in some shape or form abound on this earth. All we need to do is notice. Though there are many ways to nurture “a healthy poverty and simplicity,” humility and attentiveness are a good place to start. When we engage our lives and surroundings with humility, we allow ourselves the grace to be surprised and delighted, without presumption or judgement. Learning to be attentive is just a way of showing up.

I find that when I spend a little bit of time looking at something carefully, it helps me see everything else a little bit differently. Blind drawings are one of my favorite ways to practice this.

Blind Drawings
Blind drawings have a two-fold pay off: First, they are a wonderful way of slowing down and examining a familiar object in a new way. Second, they always yield quirky, expressive, and just downright interesting representations of the subject. For this exercise, spend 2 minutes drawing an object without ever looking at your paper. I will demonstrate by drawing one of my hands. (See detailed instructions below.)

Supplies
A piece of paper, a pen and two hands

Set-Up
Grab a paper and pen and set it up so that you only need one hand to draw. Now, rest your non-dominant hand in a comfortable and visually interesting position. Your non-dominant hand (the hand you will be drawing) should be far enough away that you can’t see it when you are looking at your paper.

Before you begin to draw, take a moment to carefully examine the resting hand; allow your eyes to slowly trace the exterior and interior lines. What shapes do you see? How do the different parts relate to each other? If you were to draw horizontal and vertical lines across your hand, what parts would line up with one another?

Ready, set, draw!
Remember, the trick to this is not thinking about what you are drawing, but focusing mainly on what you are seeing. Now, pick up your pen and rest it on your paper. Fix your eyes upon the object resolving to not look at your drawing hand or paper at all for the next two minutes. Choose a starting point with your eyes, place your pen on the paper (remember, don’t pick it up for the next two minutes) and begin to draw.

When you are finished, you may look at your drawing and feel disappointed by how much it does not look like your hand. BUT, I want to encourage you to take a moment and look at the drawing, not as a representation of a hand, but as an expression of your observation. People are my absolute favorite subjects to draw this way. If you are up for it, try that next!

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