Judy Weiner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Clinical Social Worker who specializes in the social-emotional needs of gifted and twice-exceptional (2e) individuals. She is affiliated with SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted), leads parent groups, and serves on the Oak Park Unified School District GATE Advisory Committee. 

Judy framed her presentation around the Columbus Group’s definition of giftedness: asynchronous development where advanced cognitive abilities and emotional intensity create inner experiences that are qualitatively different from the norm. This asynchrony often increases with intelligence and requires adjustments in parenting, teaching, and counseling to support optimal development. 

She encouraged parents to reflect on how their expectations align with their child’s unique profile, reminding them that success looks different for every gifted child. 

Factors Contributing to Underachievement: 

Judy discussed common contributors to underachievement in gifted youth, including: 

• Identity and peer issues 
• Multipotentiality (high ability in many areas) 
• Schoolwork that is too easy or too difficult 
• Poor study or organizational skills 
• Perfectionism and procrastination 
• Power struggles caused by over-involved parenting 

Instilling a growth mindset can help gifted students understand that intelligence is not static and can be developed. This can lead to a desire to learn and tendencies to embrace challenges, learn from criticism, and be inspired by others’ success.  

Understanding Motivation: 

Judy emphasized that behavior is a form of communication. She used the iceberg metaphor to show how surface-level behaviors may stem from deeper issues like anxiety, skill deficits, or unmet emotional needs. Open conversations can help uncover these hidden challenges. 

Supporting Passions and Interests: 

One way to build motivation is by supporting the areas and topics children care most about. Encouraging curiosity, facilitating access to experiences, and offering opportunities aligned with their passions can improve engagement and self-confidence. 

Creating the Right Learning Fit: 

Judy highlighted the importance of working with educators to ensure appropriate pacing and challenge. She defined differentiation as tailoring the curriculum to match a student’s learning level, style, and interests, and not simply giving more or harder work. Ideally, learning should fall within the child’s Zone of Proximal Development, where tasks are challenging enough to stimulate growth without being overwhelming. 

Judy’s Recommended Books: 

• Mistakes That Worked by Charlotte Foltz Jones 
• Ish by Peter H. Reynolds 
• Letting Go of Perfect by Jill Adelson and Hope Wilson 
• How to Motivate Your Child for School and Beyond by Andrew Martin 
• Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades by Sylvia Rimm 
• Moving Past Perfect by Thomas S. Greenspon 

Coming This Fall: 

We’re excited to keep the conversation going with two upcoming sessions you won’t want to miss:

• On Wednesday, September 10, join us for Secrets to Finding the Best-Fit High School, a practical and timely discussion for families navigating the next step in their child’s educational journey (in-person session).
• On Wednesday, October 8, we’ll take a deeper dive into perfectionism in Practical Interventions for the Practically Perfect. Gifted education expert Lisa Van Gemert will share strategies you can use right away to help gifted youth manage perfectionistic thinking and behaviors (virtual session).

Like many other gifted individuals, my greatest challenge was figuring out what my professional direction was going to be. The next greatest challenge was to determine what kind of post graduate education I would pursue. Gifted individuals are likely to be multipotential, meaning they can be successful in numerous areas due to having multiple interests and strengths (Rinn & Bishop, 2015). I had a strong foundation in STEM, and I was attracted to English and even anthropology. In the end I elected to study law, which at the time seemed like a somewhat arbitrary choice, though it did have the potential to combine many disciplines. At least that was the theory, but I wondered how it would actually work out in practice.

A 2006 study conducted by Siekanska and Sekowski in Poland examined the job satisfaction of gifted versus non-gifted adults aged 26 to 35 (2006). They found that gifted adults were more likely to be satisfied with their job than their non-gifted peers though they are more likely to struggle when their work environment is intolerant of their needs (Nauta and Corten, 2002). The researchers noted that there were key factors that led to such satisfaction and, though they are similar to general career advice, there were some notable differences.

Factors, such as finding a job that connects with core interests, work that is a source of pleasure, and having a supportive team atmosphere, are crucial to anyone’s career choice. For gifted individuals, career satisfaction means extra consideration to finding a career where they can take advantage of their special skills and predispositions (Siekanska and Sekowski, 2006). Gifted individuals are more likely to have highly focused interests while completely ignoring other matters, they may exhibit black and white thinking, and may employ what appears to be circuitous reasoning even though they arrive at the same conclusions (Daniels & Piechowski, 2009). They thrive when given the space to utilize these modes of thinking, where they are able to utilize their creative thinking and be “independent in their thinking” (Siekanska and Sekowski, 2006).

As my first semester draws to a close I have never been more confident that I made the right career choice. The moment this awareness came together remains illusive, but things have unquestionably clicked. Sure, the weight of half-day exams rests heavily on my shoulders and switching from MLA to IRAC is challenging, but wherever I turn I find that I love what I am pursuing. The core characteristics of law, research, writing, creative argumentation, and facilitating the work of a team while being able to work solo, directly reflect my core predispositions.

None of this would have been possible if I hadn’t been allowed to explore the many options I encountered and encouraged to self-reflect on my strengths. The average person changes careers five to seven times in their life so it is never too late to reflect on your choices and redirect your life (US Department of Labor).

• Daniels, S., & Piechowski, M. M. (2009). Living with intensity: Emotional development of gifted children, adolescents, and adults. Great Potential Press.
• Nauta, N., & Corten, F. (2002). Gifted adults in work. (K. Jamdagni, Trans.). Tijdschrift voor Bedrijfs- en Verzekeringsgeneeskunde [Journal for Occupational and Insurance Physicians], 10, 332-335.
• Rinn, A. N., & Bishop, J. (2015). Gifted adults. Gifted Child Quarterly, 59(4), 213–235.
• Siekańska, M., & Sękowski, A. (2006). Job satisfaction and temperament structure of gifted people. High Ability Studies, 17, 75-85.

Myth: Gifted students can succeed without help.

Reality: One of the biggest myths about gifted children is that they are able to succeed on their own without any assistance.  This is not necessarily the case and many gifted children will not be “just fine” on their own.  Similar to many students with disabilities and other high-risk populations which have barriers and needs, gifted students face difficulties in school unless they have access to individualized services and support.  The right services can help a gifted child develop appropriately and reach for their full potential.  Research suggests that a gifted child’s emotional adjustment is directly related to the extent to which a child’s educational needs are addressed.

Myth: Gifted children do not know they are gifted or different from others.

Reality: Although gifted children may not be aware of the term gifted, they often recognize very early that they are different from other children. They may have atypical or more intense interests, or larger vocabularies that turn away other children.  Their unusual sense of humor can get them branded as “weird.” Many young gifted children feel like they are unusual because they feel very different from everyone else and that no one understands them.  Telling children they are gifted and assisting them with understanding their strengths and weaknesses can help a child better understand these differences and view them more positively.

Myth: Gifted children naturally want to be “loners.”

Reality: Most gifted children do feel different from their same-age peers and many like to spend some time alone.  Gifted children may seek to find peers who share their interests, but these friends will not necessarily be from their own age group.

Myth: Gifted children always get good grades

Reality: Gifted underachievers are real. Some gifted children are bored and disengaged from being unchallenged in the classroom, therefore they stop really trying to get good grades. Other children spend so much time on academic pursuits unrelated to school that required work goes uncompleted. These students benefit from the guidance of an adult to help break the cycle of underachievement.

Myth: Gifted students’ emotional stability is significantly atypical relative to other children.

Reality: Although the available research shows that gifted children are as well-adjusted as other groups of children, they often experience uncharacteristic social and emotional development.  The tendency toward perfectionism, the susceptibility to depression and the uneven or asynchronous development of the gifted child can create tension within the child both at home and in the classroom.  A disparity between a students’ needs and the educational services provided, or from inadequate support to deal with peer and societal pressures, also can result in adjustment difficulties in their lives.

Myth: Gifted children are more mature (or “should be” more mature) than other children their age.

Reality: Regardless of extraordinary talent or ability in academic and other areas, gifted children generally show the same level of emotional maturity as other children their same age.  Adults should not expect gifted children to demonstrate a degree of maturity beyond their years.

The Institute for Educational Advancement (IEA) is dedicated to the intellectual, creative and personal growth of our nation’s gifted and high potential youth. Most gifted-centered organizations focus strictly on talent development and academic achievement but neglect the personal development of gifted children who are often misunderstood and misdiagnosed.  The Institute for Educational Advancement is uniquely focused on the development of the whole child, providing programming and services that support a child’s intellectual, emotional, social, spiritual and physical needs.  IEA provides both challenging educational programming and a nurturing community that families can count on to meet the distinctive needs of their gifted children.

Source: The Amend Group

Giftedness does not just go away when you turn 18, but most resources for gifted individuals do. This was a painful realization as I entered my adult life after graduating from college. Everyone has the “after college you’ll enter the real world” talk at some point in their lives, but I did not realize how true that statement is, especially being a neurodivergent individual. All the intensities and overexcitabilities are still with me. I have been fortunate to grow up with my giftedness supported, from being homeschooled, where I could learn at my own pace, to starting college at 15 through a program built for neurodivergents. Even without such an obvious sign that I am “different” from my peers, I am sure I’d have experienced similar feelings of “otherness” had I not taken an accelerated path. After graduation last year I intended to take a gap year to allow time to acclimate to the “real world” before entering law school, and thank goodness I did. This past year has eased the transition from being in an environment tailored to cultivate a gifted mind to one full of neurotypicals. Though I have not had trouble fitting into the culture of my workplace or forming a routine without the structure of school, there was a noticeable learning curve when entering the “real world”.

It is at this point in life when clear rules transition into the broader social contract we all participate in. Being neurodivergent, it is inherently difficult to make this transition. Many have made this transition without ever knowing it, a feeling of “otherness” hanging over them. I however am doing so with a painful sense of understanding. Other students will be at least two years older than I and will have had more time to learn the ground rules of the real world. Is bringing a gift for the host of a small social gathering acceptable in your early 20s or is that more early 30s social etiquette? I certainly can’t purchase a bottle of wine. The structural systems in place, such as higher education or the workplace, don’t exactly have “gifted” or “honors” sections. How am I supposed to find others like me if we are no longer branded? What will it be like living on my own? How do I navigate having an asymmetric personality in a society that has minimal idea what that means in practice?

I have no answers as to how to facilitate this transition; I’m just now at the beginning of the journey. My goal is to share my experience so that those who are starting this transition have some inkling of what’s coming and that those who have already gone through their transition know they are not alone. Throughout my life I have met many adults, professors, even my own family, who are no doubt gifted, but had to experience life without knowing why they felt this “otherness.” They forged their own path through society with minimal support, attempting to conform while still living with this unidentified “otherness.”

My motivation to start this series of articles is not just due to my current experience, but by that of two mentors in my life, both of whom found their giftedness by relating to my neurodivergent teenage woes. Two brilliant people who might have forever felt they were alone in their experience. Giftedness is something that will be with me, with us, until the day we die. Don’t let the lack of obvious resources equate to a lack of deserving support, love, and acceptance.

As back to school season kicks off this month depending on where you are located, planning for the school year can be a daunting time for both parents/guardians and gifted students. Parents want their child to thrive in their learning environment and it can be helpful to create a plan to set an intentional tone for the school year.

Below are some tips on ways to create meaningful engagement.

Support

Returning to school whether it’s hybrid, homeschool, public, or an alternative school setting can be anxiety inducing for gifted students and families. Creating opportunities for children to talk about how they are feeling whether it’s after school, during dinner, or before bed will encourage them to communicate and get a sense of how they feel in their school setting. 

If the school curriculum is not challenging enough or stimulating, gifted youth can feel bored and unmotivated to participate.^[1] Creating an environment where the listener is understanding, encouraging, and empathetic allows for gifted children who are experiencing these emotions to feel safe and be able to approach others with their needs.

Creating a Plan

It takes a community to pave the path of a gifted child’s learning journey. It’s important to identify the issue at hand and determine if there can be adjustments made. Collaborating with the child, their teacher, or counselor on possible solutions to re-engage them is the second step to addressing a situation if a gifted child is feeling highly unmotivated in their school setting.^[2] This solution will help the student feel more empowered in creating their own decisions and determining the options that work best for them.

Seeking Resources

Although each gifted child may need different and individualized support, research studies show that high levels of disengagement can lead to underachievement as gifted students need to be stimulated with learning opportunities that will encourage behavioral, affective, social, and cognitive engagement. ^[3] Looking into resources with gifted programs, connecting with other families, or speaking to the child’s counselor are options to find the right tools in supporting a gifted child who is feeling unmotivated.

^[1] https://www.sengifted.org/post/bore-out-a-challenge-for-unchallenged-gifted-young-adults#:~:text=The%20basis%20for%20boredom%20in,%E2%80%94intensity%2C%20complexity%20and%20drive

^[2] https://www.davidsongifted.org/gifted-blog/paving-the-path-to-meaningful-engagement-for-high-potential-children/

^[3] https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1272799.pdf

Summer is right around the corner! With school being out, it may be difficult to keep your gifted child engaged. But what if there were a way to continue to cultivate your child’s intellectual and social development while contributing to a greater community of peers, scientists, innovators, and even federal agencies? That’s where citizen science comes in!

Citizen science is defined as the collection and analysis of data relating to the natural world by members of the general public, typically as part of a collaborative project with professional scientists.¹  

A great example of the participation in citizen science is the website and mobile application iNaturalist, which is a joint initiative between National Geographic and the California Academy of Sciences to understand when and where organisms occur. iNaturalist is built on the concept of mapping and sharing observations of biodiversity all around the world to help scientists, like those at the Global Biodiversity Information Facility, find and use data gathered by everyday people. Not only is this an interactive way to contribute to scientific research, but it’s an awesome opportunity to share and discuss your findings with fellow naturalists, neighbors, and members of your community.

If your child prefers a more specific area of interest, there are many websites and mobile applications that cater to data gathering as it relates to topics that are more niche. For example, the website and mobile application eBird takes advantage of the unique knowledge and experiences of the average birdwatcher. This initiative, founded and run by the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, allows for the gathering of information that powers data-driven approaches to education and conservation. They even host The Cornell Lab Young Birders Event, which aims to bring together teenagers with a passion for birds.

Alternatively, if your child is more interested in exploring a whole platform of people-powered research projects to choose from, look no further than Zooniverse.org. This website offers a multitude of citizen science projects to get involved with. From projects like “Killer Whale Count” to “The Cricket Wing”, there’s no shortage of projects for your curious child to find engagement and community in.

So take some time this summer to get outdoors, connect with others, and contribute to projects that make a difference in the world!

¹Language data is provided by Oxford Languages, part of Oxford University Press

As the weather warms up, things open up, and summer vacation quickly approaches, I thought I would check in with a teacher to find out her summer tips for parents of 2E children. These recommendations are designed to help make returning to school in the fall smoother, make good use of your children’s time, and relax and enjoy your child.

1. Maintain the same routines and structures around their day as they would during the school year. Wake up, go to bed, and eat meals at regular times that are the same or close to what they do during the school year.
2. Just because school is out doesn’t mean learning has to stop. Check-in with your local library and join their summer reading program. IEA’s Academy is still taking applications for summer 2022! Join us online or in-person with advanced enrichment classes. IEA Academy – Summer 2022
3. Schedule time for outdoor activities, as well as regular, structured indoor and outdoor time.
4. Volunteer! Many organizations are looking for student volunteers. Check-in with your local nonprofits to see how you and your child can get involved. IEA is always looking for parent volunteers. If interested, click here.
5. Have fun – play, visit family and friends, and allow for downtime.

Have tips of your own that work? We would love to hear from you! Share your recommendations in the comments.

Have a fantastic summer!

What are some educational, personal and professional highlights and/or accomplishments of yours since graduating from high school?

I’ve been lucky to spend most of my time since graduating from high school as a student. At Harvard College, I was mentored by amazing professors in the history department, read lots of old books in archival libraries, helped to create an honor code system, and met friends with interests from astrophysics to Slavic literature that I still keep in touch with. I then spent a year at the University of Cambridge, where I donned long black robes for candlelit dinners in centuries-old halls, traveled across Europe, and lived with other graduate students from all over the world. I am now in my final year at Stanford Law School, where I have worked in legal clinics, interned for a federal judge, and learned how to use Zoom! None of this would have been possible without the support of the IEA team (particularly Bonnie!) and the CDB Scholarship while I was in high school.

What is a favorite IEA/CDB memory?

During high school, the CDB Seminar was a major highlight of my year. I loved getting to know the other scholars, learning about their interests, and hearing about their experiences in high schools across the country. We always had a good time together, whether we were wandering the Freedom Trail in Boston, scavenger-hunting through the San Diego Zoo, making ourselves sick tasting variations of Coke at the World of Coca-Cola in Atlanta, or exploring the laboratories of Silicon Valley startups. We had a great time during off hours, too. My best memory is from one night during my first Seminar, when the freshman cohort of Scholars stayed up together into the early hours of the morning getting to know each other in the hotel’s emergency stairwell. Eventually, we were sent to our rooms by hotel staff responding to noise complaints. The Scholar community includes a wide range of clever, curious people, and it was so much fun to get to know them for the first time.

What words of wisdom would you pass on to current IEA students?

First: value relationships with the advisers and mentors that you will meet as members of the IEA community. As a CDB Scholar, Bonnie Raskin was my most important counselor and confidant from high school placement onward, and our monthly email correspondence became my greatest impetus for self-reflection and greatest source of support. Students across IEA programs have access to incredible mentors and should seek out the transformative relationships they can form with those mentors.

Second: invest in relationships with other students within the IEA community. As a CDB Scholar, I met curious and compelling high school students from all over the country, and I know the same can be said for participants in other IEA programs. You never know when the people you meet through IEA will reappear in your life. For example, I reconnected with a fellow CDB Scholar on a backpacking trip in college, and we became (and are still) close friends. That wouldn’t have happened were it not for our initial introduction through IEA.

Here is a glimpse at new ideas that are shaping how we talk about and understand Autism.

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

There is an ongoing disagreement over grammar and semantic in the autism community over the use of “person with autism” vs. “Autistic person.” The argument is split between the community who supports Autistic people against Autistic people themselves. The words and language we use to describe people can be confusing to navigate. Intentions to be respectful, accurate and descriptive can in fact cause harm and division. The silver lining of this debate is that both parties are arguing on how to be respectful to the Autistic community.

• Resources:
• Identity-First Language
• The Significance of Semantics: Person-First Language: Why It Matters

AUTISTIC DIFFERENCES

Just like there is an autism spectrum, there is a spectrum with understanding Autism. At one end of the spectrum are people who think neurodevelopmental differences are a myth, conjured as excuses for being lazy or a lack of intelligence. At the other end of the spectrum are people who believe Autistic people aren’t suffering from a “condition” at all, they are just people who think differently. The latter group is gaining supported from scientific reviews and data that indicate a that Autistic people are more closely aligned with neurotypical people that previously understood.

While adjusting to how we understand Autism, is important to familiarizing ourselves with the positive attributes of Autism that so often get left out of the conversation when discussing how to “help” Autistic people navigate the world around them.

• Resources:
• What is neurodiversity?
• ‘We’re more alike than we might think’
• The Positives of Autism

INCLUSION

Inclusion of Autistic individuals in neurotypical spaces is proven to help create a sense of belonging by building friendships and staving off depression and loneliness. One space often overlooked when discussing inclusion is that of recreation. The “deficits” of Autistic people have crated a barrier to their including in spaces that haven’t been specifically created for them. We need to reexamine our understating of what it means to be inclusive and diverse.

• Resource:
• Autism Inclusion in Recreation

MORE TO THINK ON

Understanding Autism is a work in progress. Knowledge and understanding are expanding to include topics of convergence, improved screening, exploring science, and gender difference among others. There is no shortage of material to dig into and learn about how to best support the Autistic community. Being a good advocate is being open to change.

• Resources:
• Trends in Autism Research 2021

*Thank you to Maureen Bennie, Director of Autism Awareness Centre Inc. for sharing the linked resources.